Loneliness is an actual ‘thing‘ and it’s only recently that people have been talking about it to raise awareness of the problems and feelings of isolation and suffering that loneliness can cause.
(Loneliness is a really weird feeling to explain ~ but I will try…)
It’s a very peculiar and paradoxical feeling that sits inside, slowly polluting your positivity making you feel empty and hollow as well as full and heavy at the same time.
It’s hard to describe because it’s not a localised ache or a pain, it is like an invisible generalised weight that sinks your heart and stomach and you can constantly feel tired, drained and lifeless.
It’s most certainly not a pleasant feeling and is definitely very uncomfortable. I know what it feels like as I have been in a place where I was suffering silently with this feeling, so now I can identify it and am able to help people feel better from it and want to make sure that no one suffers alone.
Study conducted for the Office of National Statistics
I have written a book about Grief, because I realised that this horrible feeling of loneliness was part of the grief system.
Once I began doing my research on how common this feeling of loneliness is, I realised that a lot of us are probably also grieving something or someone because of the loneliness and we don’t realise we are actually grieving.
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Are you suffering with Loneliness?
Take THE LONELINESS TEST to find out:
The Loneliness Test
- Do you often feel unheard or unseen?
- Do you feel that nobody will understand how you feel?
- Do you feel guilty for asking for help?
- Do you find yourself comparing your life to others?
- Have you cut down or stopped social interactions?
- Do you prefer to be on your own more and more?
- Do you often feel resentful of others appearing to have fun?
- Do you have the desire to run away from situations?
- Do you feel like an outsider in your life?
- Are you avoiding phone calls and messages?
- Do you make excuses not to hang out with your friends or family?
- Do you often feel lonely in a crowded room?
If you have answered YES to 5 or more –
You could be suffering with Loneliness and/or Grief
Did you know that Loneliness is a Stage of Grief?
People think we grieve only when someone dies, but that is not true.
We can feel any form grief, including loneliness when things change significantly in our lives.
Any change or loss can trigger feelings of grief and loneliness.
Loneliness is a normal reaction to life changing unexpectedly and when our routine is broken.
Grief is a Cocktail of Emotions that includes Loneliness
Our brain can go into an over protection mode when changes happen in our lives.
Loneliness and feelings of isolation can be the brain trying to keep you safe and secure.
This is why you prefer being on your own rather than interacting with others.
Loneliness is a very lonely place, this is the paradox of this feeling.
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Loneliness is an irrational feeling. Do you feel torn between feeling guilty for feeling lonely become you know that actually your life is really not that bad, but on the other hand, you can’t help feeling lonely?
If this is you, and you are stuck for what to do, get in touch with me and I can really help you figure out how to get your life back on the interactive and energetic track.
If you are not ready to speak to someone right now, this is why I have written my book to help you from the comfort and privacy of your own home.
Good Grief is a self help book that I wrote when I lost both my parents to cancer and felt like my own mental health was in a dark place.
I used to feel so lonely sometimes, that all I felt I had were the thoughts in my own mind for company – so I wrote them into my loneliness diary.
My loneliness diary stretched into my guilt diary, which progressed into my sadness diary, and then leaked into my anxiety diary.
In the end I had seven diaries of words and thoughts, that eventually became my book ‘Good Grief‘.
I wrote the book to help people like you remember this very important message:
YOU MAY FEEL LIKE IT but… YOU ARE NEVER ALONE
I wrote Good Grief to help me cope with my own feelings of loss, change and isolation.
My hope is that it can help you remember that you are not alone, and that there is the help out there.
Please get in touch with me when you feel ready to reach out.
